


Blinded by the Brighter Side

by SilvineCrescent



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Attraction, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Fear, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Lust, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-04 07:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11550489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvineCrescent/pseuds/SilvineCrescent
Summary: Cullen Rutherford x Jocelyn TrevelyanJust a collection of snippets throughout the growing relationship between Commander and Inquisitor. There may be eventually smut, of course.





	1. Re-Occuring

The night was cold and the sky clear Cullen found, as he near enough ran from his tent. The air stung as he breathed in and the stillness around him was almost eerie. Haven wasn't exactly the best place to have to engage in a fight, but it suited the Inquisitions needs for now. It was odd to see no one patrol, he noted. He would need a word with his men in the morning.

Cullen glanced over his shoulder, as if he could still hear the call of the nightmares breaking free from the tent where he left them. He moved quickly to gain as much distance between that place and himself. All but forgetting the oddness of Haven.

The path the Commander followed was well worn, devoid of the snow that covered the rest of the neighbouring mountains. He could still hear the mocking laughs and cruel remarks from within. Chanting a few verses to try find and some assemblance of peace, but none came. His fist connecting with the wooden structure before him. His frustration and anger needing an outlet.

"Commander."

Cullen reeled around at his title, his hand throbbing from the punch he had just placed on the old alchemist's hut. The Herald sat curiously on the large rock in front of the hut. "Oh, Herald. I didn't know…" He rubbed the knot that was forming at the base of his neck. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you." He nodded as he began to make his way back to his tent outside Haven's main gate, praying the demons were gone.

"Couldn't sleep either I take it." Jocelyn sighed as she fell back down. Cullen stopped himself and contemplated whether it was appropriate to join her. "You look rather odd without your armour." Cullen heard her smile rather that seeing it.

"That's only because it's little too uncomfortable to sleep in." Cullen spoke before thinking and blushed at the laugh he managed to get from the Herald. He found it easy to relax around her. The nightmares that was playing deep within, becoming cloudy and soft.

"Care to join me?" Jocelyn sat up again and gestured to the room she made beside her on the rock. Cullen was grateful for the night, as he was sure he was burning red. He couldn't deny that from the moment he saw Jocelyn Trevelyan in the cells under Haven's chantry he was slightly taken aback. Her hair wild and curly, a shade of brown he believed, until he had saw it a few dates later out in the sunlight and realised it was more a deep red. Her cheeks were full and shined pink whenever she smiled, which only made him notice the freckles that spattered them even more adorable. Her eyes were a brilliant blue that pierced into him and Maker her smile. All gleaming white teeth and pure beauty.

"Of course." He croaked after clearing his throat, noticing that he had been staring up at her with no answer for a time. She beamed that toothy grin as he made his way round to sit beside her. She shuffled closer to him and placed her head upon his shoulder, he stiffened in place. They had suffered a rather vocal argument in the War Room earlier that day, so he was slightly surprised at the interaction.

"I'm sorry." He spat.

"For what?" She quickly pulled away from him and looked directly into his eyes. The moon softening the usual electric blue.

"For earlier today, in the War Room. I… I was trying to…" He stumbled.

"It's ok." She said after studying his face carefully and then placing her head back on his shoulder. "You were just doing exactly what you are suppose to be doing. Giving strategic analysis. I should be the one apologising."

"Herald?" Cullen questioned. Maker she could do anything to him and Cullen was pretty sure he would simply smile in the end.

"You know, for always making out you're the Archdemon's advocate or something." She took a deep breath in. "I know that it's nothing personal. Just what's best for the Inquisition, and I have to admit. Our discussions are rather thrilling." She purred, placing her hand on his thigh. He smiled involuntarily.

"I do not want you to think I do not value…" He cleared his throat again. The heat collecting in his cheeks as he muscles twitched to her hands closing proximity. The swallow he made was received with a giggle.

"So much confidence as a Commander. But here and now." She lifted her head to look at him again. "Cullen what are you like outside the War Room, I wonder?" She moved her one leg over Cullen and set lightly on his lap with an agile ease. Her tongue wetting her lips. "Are you as commanding?" She leant in. "Are you as ballsy?" She spoke softly as her hand swiped over his growing bulge.

"I…" Was all Cullen was able to stammer out before her lips were on his. Licking and nipping at all the right intervals.

"Commander." Her voice became layers. Deeper. Pulling away Cullen was no longer looking at Jocelyn Trevelyan. It was her face, for that he was sure, but her eyes had become black and her skin slowly turning a shade of purple. "Commander." She purred again.

"Commander."

Cullen set straight up in his cot. The blanket pooling mostly off to the side. The soldier called him again from just outside his tent. "I will be out shortly." Cullen shouted and slammed his head back against the pillow with a groan. His withdrawal had been improving, however the growing Inquisition had led to more Templars and Mages joining their ranks and with those came the need for lyrium. Also, the argument between the Herald and himself yesterday wasn't exactly helping his emotions and to top it off the demons playing tricks on him in his sleep. He had thought Jocelyn Trevelyan to be a beautiful woman the moment he laid eyes on her, but there couldn't be, there wouldn't be anything more between them, and yet he suffered boyish dreams. Evidently by his stiffness. He lay for a while until the whole dream slowly receded and his bodily reactions along with it.

"Commander?" It was Cassandra.

"Yes, Cassandra. Just a moment." He called as he sat up and rolled his shoulders. He was plastered in a cold layer of sweat and Cassandra entered just in time to catch him as he stood too quickly. Groaning Cullen quickly corrected himself and moved off to get ready for the day.

"Cullen, maybe you should rest…"

"I'm fine." Cullen waved the warrior off. "I.." He began before sighing. "What is it you need, Cassandra?" He pulled his undershirt over head and turned to her.

"You can not put the blame for result of Redcliffe solely on Jocelyn." She started.

"I know. There is no need, Cassandra. I was planning on apologising. It was unfair of me to…"

"Good." Cassandra cheered. " She is by the stables. She has an odd fondness for horses." Cassandra nodded and wandered out of the tent without a second look. Cullen stood for while, bracing himself. The thought of the Herald had brought all sorts of imagines back to mind. Cursing himself he used the now cold water that had probably been left for him earlier that morning, he was sticky with sweat among other things.

The stables were not situated far from Cullen's tent and he had enjoyed the arrival of the horses and stable master. The noises of hooves and grunts during the night had been great help when he had found sleep hard, for reminding him of his family farm and a more untroubling time. He surely needed to write to his sister soon, he thought.

The Herald was indeed by the stables when Cullen eventually ventured out into the cold morning. She had her hair scrunched up into a messy bun, her unruly curls flicking out here and there.

As Cullen delighted in the feel of fresh snow under his boot, purposely cutting across the usually path, he drank in the armour snug against the Herald in all the right places. He noted the colour wasn't all too pleasing, a dull brown, but this was simply down to the practical materials that were used. Cullen was grateful to the blacksmith, Harritt, for fitting the Herald out with practical yet pleasing armour. Cullen had to shake the thoughts that began creeping into his mind about peeling her layers off bit by bit. It was just the demons and nothing more.

"Herald?" He called just as he was a few steps away. "A moment?" He gestured for them to walk. Jocelyn turned and looked at him in suspect for a time, before quietly nodding and walking off, meaning Cullen had to jog a short distance to catch her. "I wanted to apologise. For yesterday." He clarified. "I should not have reacted so…"

"Ungentlemanly" Jocelyn stopped abruptly and folded her arms. "How about a complete arse?" Her face tight with angry. "Cullen, I… I don't see how you could possible think that…" She dropped her hands to her side. Her face showing more disappointment then anger now and that sent a pang of something ineffable through him. "Don't get me wrong, I understand that with your past…"

"My past?" Cullen retorted. The thought of his past defining her views of him made him sick to his stomach.

"Yes, as a Templar. I was simply going to say that has, I'm sure, allowed you to see the worst of mages."

"Yes, I have seen what an unchecked mage can do."

"But you must have also seen the errors in the Templars way." She pressed.

"Yes." Cullen sighed rubbing the knot at the base of his neck. "I'm not saying we should fall into similar ways as the order, just that something needs to be place."

"And I agree. But these checks should be created with the advice from the mages, working alongside us. Who best to devise how to watch them, then themselves."

It was a decent idea. Whether it would work though. "Very well, Herald. I trust in your judgement." Cullen concluded.

"Thanks." A smile played across her features and was her face red? Cullen cleared his throat at the sudden embarrassment that rose between them and quickly excused himself.

Maker preserve him to not fall for the Hearld.


	2. A Simple Wager

"You're on." Cullen heard Bull boom. The Herald standing in front of the large Qunari, her hands on her hips with a merciless smile on her face. Cullen watched curiously from his position, no longer really taking in the recruits who were also all slowing to a stop to watch the Iron Bull march over to a nearby tree and turning with a excited glare.

Cullen could only imagine what was about to happen as the Herald appeared with a bow and arrow she had claimed from the blacksmith. Walking up to the Bull they exchanged a few more words before she turned and began counting her paces, passing Cullen and the troops who had stopped to watch the spectacle. Giving Cullen a smile, a smile for him right and she continued on her way.

"One hundred." She shouted to show she had reached her destination and twisted her body, raising the bow. Drawing it with purpose. Cullen could see just from her stance the skill she had as an archer. Her feet planted perfectly, her hand steady and arm straight, as she slowly pulled the string back. Inch by inch, her face the picture of calm. She let the arrow loose. It whistled pass the crowd and landed with a satisfying thud into the tree just above Bull's head, perfectly between his horns.

"Fuck." Bull breathed as he stepped away and looked to the arrow embedded in the trunk. "I didn't even think you'd hit the tree." He called as the Herald marched towards him. She stopped before him and patted him on the elbow, that's all she could comfortable reach. They exchanged a few more words before the Herald replaced the bow at the blacksmith and the pair made their way back into Haven.

The air was still and the sound of troops around drowned out to nothing as Cullen watched the Herald make her way up the stairs in the main village, it certainly was a nice view, the swaying of her hips. He let out a breath he didn't even realise he was holding and a small smile formed on the corner of his lips. He would have to congratulate her on skill. Truly a master of her art.

The opportunity to praise the Herald came but a few short hours later when she marched up to him and stood beside him, admiring the troops. "Herald." Cullen acknowledged.

"Commander." She replied, imitating him. "You know I prefer Jocelyn, right?" Her casual tone back.

"Jocelyn." He whispered. It felt foreign on his lips. But he certainly enjoyed the reaction he got. The corners of her mouth twitched before she managed to compose herself.

"So how are the troops holding up?" She turned towards the recruits currently engaged with each other. Sidling up beside Cullen a little more, he didn't mean to, but he retracted away ever so slightly with imagines of the dream he had a few nights prior. He mentally berated himself as she flinched in return, she was no desire demon.

"We have upped their training. They need to prepare for a real fight not a practice one." Cullen spoke matter of factly.

"Considering their origins. I'd say you have done a excellent job, Commander." She spoke his title with a subtle connotation that set Cullen's cheek alight.

"Well, yes. Thank you." He managed to fumble out, unsure where to look. "I fear we face something far worse than first expected though."

"Well I must have this for reason." Cullen peeked a glance at the Herald to see her staring down at the mark, though gloved, Cullen knew exactly what was under it.

"Yes. We can act where the Chantry cannot. And with the aid of the mages I'm sure we can… there is so much we can do." He managed to stop himself before going any further. The shimmering smile from the Herald derailing his chain of thought. "There's still a lot of work ahead." The Herald hummed in agreement and stood silently beside him.

"Earlier you…" "Do Templars…"

They interrupted each other, both apologising in unison and then laughing the same.

"Please, Herald." Cullen nodded for her to go first.

"It's rather a trivial matter." She began to blush, Cullen noted. "But, do Templars take vows? You know? It's just Dorian was on about it earlier in the tavern and I'm curious is all."

"Vows?" Cullen was worried at how this line of thinking was going if the Tevinter mage was involved. "There's a vigil. As Templars, we are not to seek wealth or acknowledgment. Our lives belong to the Maker and the path we have chosen."

"A life of service and sacrifice. Are Templars also expected to give up more? You know, physical temptations?" She managed to get out without making eye contact Cullen, kicking the dirt sheepishly.

"Why? Physical?" Cullen couldn't help the burning that covered near his whole body. Was she really asking him if he was celibate? "It's not expected. Templars can marry. Such vows can be taken but are not required." He stuttered, her eyes now feeling like they were going to burn him alive as she slowly brought them upon him. "I have not taken any such vows." He blurted out. "If that was what you enquiring. Maker…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Can we speak of something else?"

"Yes. Of course." She chimed as if satisfied with his answer. "You were going to say something yourself earlier."

"Oh, yes. I was going to congratulate you on your bet, I'm assuming it was wager, with the Iron Bull. Whatever it was, you appeared victorious and showed a great deal of skill." His heart slowly calming down.

"It was a bet and I got a free drink out of it. Though the swill they serve at the tavern wasn't much of a victory." She laughed. "And thank you. I mean I suck at hand to hand combat. But being praised by you is certainly…" She cleared her own throat before bidding Cullen goodbye as a soldier crept towards the pair with reports in hand.

Taking the reports, Cullen slyly watched as the Herald made for the stables. To the horses again, he thought. And for the first time in many years, he was irked by the distraction of work.


	3. A Silent Pact

It felt odd. It all seemed too easy to Cullen. He couldn’t shake the ominous feeling that hung around the edges of the celebration, pressing his gloved hand over his eyes to try and will the creeping migraine away. 

“Are you alright?” The Herald’s voice surprised Cullen. He jumped up from where he was sitting on the main steps to Haven. He had found this spot a relatively quiet area, while still being able to see everyone enjoying themselves for once. 

“Hera….Jocelyn.” Cullen quickly correcting himself thanks to the look Jocelyn shot his way. He didn’t mind the odd feeling of her name on his lips anymore, if he was to be recompensed with her smile each time. “I am fine. Just…” He sighed as he leaned back against the one wall that ran down the stairs, looking out to the soldiers who danced around the newly placed trebuchets. 

“Just what?” Jocelyn looked at him curiously, stepping down a few steps so she was standing on the same one as Cullen. “That something just doesn’t feel right?” She asked while turning her gaze to the forest beyond Haven. 

“Yes.” Cullen watched her. She danced her eyes, so blue even in the dimming light, across to the celebrating soldiers. “I’m sorry. This should be a time to celebrate, you should be down there.” Cullen gestured a gloved hand. “Varric warned me of my seriousness. I don’t want it rubbing off on you.” Cullen was surprised when Jocelyn laughed lightly. Not many people seemed to laugh with him. At him yes, with him no. Her small chuckle was infectious. 

“Oh Varric’s just cranky about his relationship with Cassandra’s not making any progress.” 

“Please don’t let Cassandra hear you say that.” 

“Hear what, Commander?” 

“Oh, nothing.” Cullen tried to hide the smile he shared with Jocelyn at the sound of one Cassandra’s signature grunts. 

“And what can I do for you, fine seeker?” Jocelyn appeared in a much better mood as she mocked Cassandra than when she had arrived at Cullen’s side. He praised himself internally for that. She had made him happy and he her. No. He cursed himself. He was not someone who made others happy. He hurt, he scared, he betrayed. He was not worthy of such a woman, let alone such hopes of her. The smile fell almost immediately from his face.

Cullen nodded to both women as they walked off back towards the Chantry together. His eyes moved down over the Herald’s body. Her waist slim against her round bosom and curved hips. 

“Rather nice view, is it not?” Dorian appeared beside Cullen. He must of come from outside the main gates of Haven. 

“I... I don’t know what you mean?” Cullen cleared his throat as he spoke. He shifted on his feet as Dorian gave him a knowing smirk and disappeared off towards the tavern. Was he really that obvious?

*****  
“It appears you are not the only being obvious. She is asking for you?” Cullen looked from his hands, to see Dorian standing over him. “There I was and the first she speaks, it is your name.” Dorian folded his arms across his chest. “Southerners.” Was all he muttered as he wandered off, leaving Cullen to make his own way to Jocelyn’s tent. 

Lifting the flap to the tent slowly, Cullen took in the scene. A breath catching in his throat. She was okay. She was alright, awake, talking to Mother Giselle. Cullen lowered his head slightly to the two women when they took notice of him entering. 

“Cullen.” The Herald smiled largely, sitting a little more upright, the blanket fell down to pool at her hips revealing a loose shirt. The movement caused her to grimace at her side. Cullen quickly rushed forward, Giselle raising her hand to stop him. 

“She is fine Commander. A little weary but she will be alright.” Mother Giselle spoke calmly.

“I hear that’s thanks to you Cullen.” She continued to beam. 

“All I did was carry you. If I hadn’t let you go in the first….” Cullen stopped as Mother Giselle cleared her throat. 

“I shall give you two some time.” She informed them as she made for the exit of the tent. The pair watched her leave and the tent entrance draw shut again. 

“Cullen…” Jocelyn spoke so softly, the calm that ran through Cullen as she spoke his name made he release the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Cullen?” She spoke again, obviously she wasn’t going to continue without Cullen’s full attention, as he was currently still looking towards the exit of the tent.

“Jocelyn, I’m so sorry.” Cullen fell to his knees next to her bed, turning to her. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He spoke frantic raising his gloved hand to her cheek. “Maybe you should lie down again?” 

“Cullen, I’m fine.” She sounded slightly annoyed now, pursing her lips as she knocked Cullen’s hand away with the back of hers. “Really.” She reassured him. “And by the Maker, you better not be blaming yourself. For anything. None of this.” Her voice stern. How could Cullen not think such things? He had not prepared the soldiers, he had not set an adequate defense for Haven and he had, worse of all, agreed to send Jocelyn off to fight that Maker forsaken monster. “Cullen.” She spoke again, fully away he was sending himself to dark places. “So, what’s the plan? You know, from here. Not that I don’t like freezing my ass off.” She added, changing the subject.

“I’d rather you kept your ass, Jocelyn.” Cullen spoke without thinking and immediately felt the blush rise over his cheeks. “I..I didn’t mean to… to insinuate... “ Cullen quickly his throat and moved to sit on the seat Mother Giselle had been occupying, glancing up to see the small smile that flickered over Jocelyn’s face. 

“Is the mighty Commander blushing?” Jocelyn overdramatized her words. “My, my. I am but a naive girl, who may take more from your words than you mean.” Cullen felt his cheeks settle as the throaty laugh left him. 

“Yes...Well.” Was all that left before him as he moved into a more comfortable, relaxed position in the chair. “The truth, Jocelyn. Are you really okay?”

“I don’t know.” She solemnly spoke after a moments silence. “The world was fucked up as it was, now we have a mad man of a creature…” She pressed her right thumb into her exposed mark on her left hand. “Corypheus.” She whispered. 

“Corypheus?” Cullen questioned. 

“That’s what he called himself and we have to stop him.” Jocelyn looked to her side and bore her blue eyes into Cullen. He felt as if the 'we' wasn’t Cassandra, or Leliana, or anyone outside this tent. He couldn’t deny the connection then shot between them, the understanding, the silent pact they had just made.

“Yes.” Cullen breathed. He would see this through to protect her and make amends for his life that he had until now. He was with her.


End file.
